Friendship dating and courtship
This psychological immune system is critical in relationship crises.
Don Miguel Ruiz, in his wonderful book , writes about the goal of not taking things personally. If you believe in honesty, but are telling white lies and stretching the truth, your ego is in a constant state of taking hits.
If we feel undermined or betrayed, we may ask ourselves if we knew the friend as well as we thought, or if we misjudged her character.
If we ourselves have caused the fissure, we self-criticize.
Why does it hurt so acutely when we split with a close friend? Sadness and anger are likely two of the emotions brewing; there is also fear, guilt, confusion.
Instead, recognize yourself in your friend, and take a moment to let the stinging subside. It may seem counterintuitive, but it will set you free.
Q What’s most important when it comes to strengthening our “psychological immune system”—and by extension, our friendships? Double down on all the things in your life that promote self-love and healing.
If your emotional immune system is strong, you won’t perceive opposition as hostility (also, remember that what your friends have to say is much more about them and much less about you).
So don’t be afraid to keep a friend close even if they have views that oppose yours.Either way, we’re grieving a part of us we think we can’t be without.